Post by Cameo on Jul 27, 2013 23:23:21 GMT -5
IC Date: April 13, 2052
knightFawe: Henry: *Intercom!* Last call for guided tours!
cameoApparition: Dora: Sounds good.
cameoApparition: Dora: *proceeds*
Pieguy: Lacey: Ah, hell with it. *goes*
prinnybroos: Alli: *heads over there; got nothing better to do, and maybe she'll learn why*
prinnybroos: (they might *not* be fighting an army of mantis men)
UmbraFractus: Kiya: *waits outside the door; avoiding the organs*
UmbraFractus: (Zack: ._. )
knightFawe: Henry: All right! *Stands!* Everyone out of the office for the tour!
Pieguy: Lacey: *arriving at office door* ...what's all that on the desk?
cameoApparition: Dora: It looks like a pile of entrails...
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: That is precisely what it is.
Pieguy: Lacey: Oh good, I was worried I might be mistaken.
knightFawe: Henry: *Hurries off to go get the cart. It looks like it was cribbed from a Disney Tour, complete with cartoonish space station logo on the front.*
knightFawe: Henry: *Soon out the front of his office with a cart! Yay!*
knightFawe: Henry: *Has also acquired a headband microphone*
UmbraFractus: Kiya: *joined them in the hallway*
knightFawe: Henry: All right, all aboard! *Beep beeps his horn.*
Pieguy: Lacey: ...well, this'll be entertaining.
cameoApparition: Dora: *window seat!*
Pieguy: Lacey: *any old seat* Why is there a pile of entrails on the desk?
cameoApparition: Dora: He does have a history of cloning organs and leaving them out everywhere.
knightFawe: Henry: *Lets the engine idle as he waits for others. There's even a little screen behind him with the logo on it.*
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: No, those were the ones he started with.
knightFawe: Henry: Replacements, m'girl!
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: *sets comatose body next to lacey*
Pieguy: Lacey: How did you... you know what, I'm not sure I want to know.
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: I do!
knightFawe: Henry: With a very sharp knife.
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: Did you have someone help you?
knightFawe: Henry: Please. I think I've replaced my old organs enough that I wouldn't need a helper like a bumbling teen!
Pieguy: Lacey: Oddly specific kind of helper that you wouldn't need.
prinnybroos: Alli: *heads abroad? shrug*
prinnybroos: (aboard. Not abroad. Well maybe abroad.)
knightFawe: Henry: Well, this is likely all we're getting. Would anyone like to ride shotgun with an old man like me?
cameoApparition: Dora: Sure.
knightFawe: Henry: Full warning: Any attempted rendition of that scene from Willy Wonka means that you're out of the tour.
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: You mean the one where the little orange guys sing and dance?
knightFawe: Henry: No I mean the boat ride.
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: I have no idea what you're talking about.
prinnybroos: Alli: What about the parts where kids get murdered?
knightFawe: Henry: Eh.
cameoApparition: Dora: *takes the passenger seat*
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: What happens on the boat ride?
prinnybroos: Alli: I forget; I haven't seen the movie in forever.
knightFawe: Henry: The director trips balls. *that sounds so weird coming from him right???* Anyway! Onwards. Please keep your hands and feet inside the cart.
prinnybroos: Alli: But there's a lot of whimsical murder.
cameoApparition: Dora: I'm pretty sure that's the scene with the terrifying musical number about not knowing where they're going.
knightFawe: Henry: That's the ticket.
knightFawe: Henry: *Onwards!*
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: Very well.
knightFawe: Henry: *Begins the tour!* Ahem. On your left behind the clear glass, you can see a display model of one of the rooms you should be familiar with.
cameoApparition: Dora: *looks over*
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: *also looks*
knightFawe: Henry: *Best tour guide voice!* This room is also completely interchangeable! As the 'Cloneplex' was originally designed to support life after the apocalypse, the rooms are modular so they could be combined in case of expanding families and marriages!
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: *God help us he's taken out a notepad*
knightFawe: Henry: Fun fact, if you were in a childless relationship, you would have been required to donate genetic material so the gene pool could keep expanding!
prinnybroos: Alli: That's... good?
Pieguytablet: Lacey: Hm? Sorry. Spaced out. Who's donating genetic material now?
cameoApparition: Dora: ...what do you mean, donate genetic material?
knightFawe: Henry: A small sample. Blood, hair, fluids. Enough to clone new humans!
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: That doesn't sound so bad.
knightFawe: Henry: *Such a tour guide voiiiiice*
Pieguytablet: Lacey: Donate to who? *wasn't listening*
knightFawe: Henry: Did you know? The Space Station was designed to support upwards of one point two million humans! At such a time, it would be necessary to establish a colony on Jupiter!
Pieguytablet: Lacey: Wouldn't that have been a tragically short-lived colony?
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: Jupiter is somewhat lacking in solid ground, from what I hear.
cameoApparition: Dora: I thought we /were/ a colony on Jupiter.
Pieguytablet: Lacey: It'd last about as long as the plummet through the clouds.
knightFawe: Henry: We're slightly above Jupiter. And, with so many meta humans working together, anything is possible!
prinnybroos: Alli: We have this space station and you assume being on Jupiter would be a problem?
prinnybroos: Alli: Like, we've figured gravity out.
knightFawe: Henry: Now that's the scientific optimism I like!
knightFawe: Henry: *Pulls around the corner!* Now, I hear you ask, 'How could a metal station support life?', well, I'm glad you asked! On your right you can see a smaller example of the Dudley HyperTime Chamber! Observe, as seeds are dropped in the ground, sprout and grow at a rapid rate!
knightFawe: Seeds: *Behind the glass, are dropped into the soil. A stalk with tomatoes grows, which are harvested by tiny robots swiftly!*
knightFawe: Henry: Completely chemical-free, natural organic food!
cameoApparition: Dora: So it's made of empty space?
knightFawe: Henry: And, thanks to the wonders of cloning, we can clone slabs of meat without creating a living beast, thus sidestepping the main objection of pinko-commie Vegetarians complaining about harming animals!
knightFawe: Henry: *Side of mouth* Dora not now I'm tourguiding.
knightFawe: Henry: On the right you'll see the Ark.2, a statis chamber containing DNA of every animal on earth, including some that went extinct, like the dodo!
prinnybroos: Alli: Wait so the meat we're eating isn't actual animals?
knightFawe: Ark.2: *Rows of frosty glass cylinders! They go on for aaaaaaagggggggeeeeees.*
knightFawe: Henry: It's actual meat, but no animals were harmed in the making.
prinnybroos: Alli: *shrug* That's probably closer to natural than a lot of the stuff out there anyway.
knightFawe: Henry: And much more humane!
Pieguytablet: Lacey: So, what, you could clone dodo steaks?
knightFawe: Henry: Yes. It's overrated.
Pieguytablet: Lacey: Let me guess. Tastes like chicken.
knightFawe: Henry: No, it tastes like Dodo.
Pieguytablet: Lacey: Silly question.
knightFawe: Henry: ahem. Anyway, ahead we see our top-of-the range quarantine zone in case of mutating diseases.
knightFawe: Zone: *Looks so sterile!*
knightFawe: Henry: *And the tour continues! Robot construction, Tesla coils, greenhouse and park. You get the idea. Make up your own stuff if you want!* ...and that concludes our tour. Any questions?
prinnybroos: Alli: Was there any particular reason for this? I mean, we've all been living here for a while...
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: I asked for it
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: What's in the basement?
prinnybroos: Alli: It is really a basement when it's in space? What's it on the ground of?
iFawe: Henry: What's in the basement is basically the last scene from the first Indiana Jones.
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: That really doesn't answer my question at all.
iFawe: Henry: Basically contaminated - and safely contained - objects.
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: Contaminated with what?
iFawe: Henry: And yes, Jefferson was the first person to ask for the tour.
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: It was pretty cool.
iFawe: Henry: I'm afraid it's need to know information, Gareth.
iFawe: Henry: And thank you, Jefferson.
cameoApparition: Gareth: *Looks disgruntled.*
cameoApparition: (Goddammit that was the wrong Gareth)
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: *ALSO LOOKS DISGRUNTLED*
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: I liked the part where the vegetables grew fast.
iFawe: Henry: Yes I'm quite proud of that.
iFawe: Henry: I'm sorry, Gareth. That's the way it is.
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: If you can make time rooms, have you ever tried making a time machine?
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: Why are you keeping contaminated whatevers in your basement? Can't you jettison it into space?
iFawe: Henry: And you'll be in trouble if I catch you trying to sneak in like Madeline because, quote, "Professor Quirrell is gonna steal the mirror!"
iFawe: Henry: Not going near time travel. Too dangerous.
iFawe: Henry: And jettisoning these things would be a poor idea.
prinnybroos: Alli: But speeding up and slowing down time is okay?
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: Why?
iFawe: Henry: It's an efficient way of mass-producing food.
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: Because space travellers could just bump into it by accident and get contaminated too?
iFawe: Henry: ...Yes, exactly that.
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: Oh, come on. I thought space was supposed to be really big and really empty.
iFawe: Henry: Shenanigans. I wrote a paper on it.
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: That doesn't answer anything!
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: You'd be surprised how often tempting fate leads to crazy accidents gareth
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth:
cameoApparition: Dora: It's true!
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: You're basically saying, lets stop paying attention to these dangerous things. What could possibly go wrong
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: So instead we're keeping them in our basement.
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: At least, I presume they are dangerous
iFawe: Henry: I'm sorry, Gareth. I know you're a curious person but this mystery will have to remain mysterious.
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth:
iFawe: Henry: Any other questions?
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: Is the station made of space metal or like, regular steel or something?
iFawe: Henry: It's made of an alloy of <metals honestly I don't know what would be good space metal.>
prinnybroos: (Iridium obviously *go science jokes no one gets!*)
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: Neat. Oh, I thought of a good one. What happens if theres natural disasters like somekind of meteor shower?
iFawe: Henry: Short range teleporters put it on the other side of the station.
iFawe: Henry: Continuing it's natural trajectory, unless it would hit Earth, if so it's slightly adjusted.
prinnybroos: Alli: Um. Why Jupiter anyway?
iFawe: Henry: A much larger planet makes it much easier to hide a space station.
prinnybroos: Alli: Well. Alright.
iFawe: Henry: *Rummages in pockets* Hang on I have tour badges... *Hands them out. They're big button badges with the logo and text saying 'I'm A Space Cadet!!'. They look like they were designed in the 90s, because they were.*
cameoApparition: Dora: Ummmmmmmm
iFawe: Henry: For completing the tour!
iFawe: Henry: *Clearly good at science, not art.*
cameoApparition: Dora: *Pins it to her outermost shirt to be nice.*
iFawe: Henry: *Mustachiod smile! EVERYONE GETS A BADGE.*
Pieguytablet: Lacey: *probably has a drawer for that*
iFawe: Henry: *Expectant looks.*
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: *pins badge to lapel*
iFawe: Henry: *Presumably this is why he's had no tours so far.*
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: *pins it to his sleeping self*
iFawe: Henry: :{D
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: *logs into spacebook from phone: types up a post about the tour: 10/10 would recommend*
iFawe: Maddie: A tour?! Of the forbidden hallway I bet!!
cameoApparition: Tamsyn: Haha what
iFawe: Maddie: There's a tour of the station
cameoApparition: Tamsyn: Sounds kinda cool.
iFawe: Maddie: It's apparently 10/10
knightFawe: Henry: *Great tour guide or GREATEST tour guide???*
ArchDukeFerdinand_: (greatest, obviously)
knightFawe: Henry: Any further questions or we done here? :{)
ArchDukeFerdinand_: Jezebelle: Like, I totally have like, a question
knightFawe: Henry: Huzzah! Ask away.
ArchDukeFerdinand_: Jezebelle: Like, what if we had like, a totally rad party in the tme slow downy place. Wouldn't we all like, be all moving slowmo and stuff?
knightFawe: Henry: You are not having a party in the Dudley TimeCompression Chamber.
ArchDukeFerdinand_: Jezebelle: Like, how totally lame
cameoApparition: Dora: Was it absolutely necessary to make "TimeCompression" one word?
Pieguy: Lacey: How do you slow down time like that without the universe imploding?
prinnybroos: Alli: The universe is hella resilient. Have faith in it.
ArchDukeFerdinand_: Jezebelle: Like, for sure
cameoApparition: Dora: The same way he does everything else without the universe imploding.
knightFawe: Henry: TimeCompression as one word saves time.
cameoApparition: Dora: And also compresses, I suppose.
knightFawe: Henry: Exactly.
UmbraFractus: Kiya: *yeah, she's still there*
knightFawe: Henry: Does everyone have a badge?
UmbraFractus: Kiya: Yep
Pieguy: Lacey: Sure do.
ArchDukeFerdinand_: Jezebelle: Yup@!
knightFawe: Henry: :{D
ArchDukeFerdinand_: Jezebelle: it like, totally has its own charm
prinnybroos: Alli: *doesn't* Yes.
knightFawe: Henry: Jolly good! Anything further, or is it time to wrap this up with ice cream cake?
ArchDukeFerdinand_: Jezebelle: Cake!
UmbraFractus: Kiya: I vote for cake
knightFawe: Henry: Any objections?
ArchDukeFerdinand_: Jezebelle: Like, no way
UmbraFractus: Kiya: What kind of cake?
knightFawe: Henry: *Leads to the party room! There's a ball pit and an ice cream cake and a slide and little party hats.*
UmbraFractus: Kiya: *likes balls*
UmbraFractus: (*shot*)
prinnybroos: Alli: I don't think this tour was designed for our age range...
UmbraFractus: Kiya: I don't care
*jumps right in*
Pieguy: Lacey: The hats are a nice touch.
knightFawe: Henry: ... It has issues needs ironing out
knightFawe: Henry: I could get drinks? Drinks help.
prinnybroos: Alli: Drinks do help.
cameoApparition: Dora: Nothing makes a ball pit and a slide adult-appropriate quite like alco... hol... actually that is literally true.
UmbraFractus: Kiya: Alcohol seems to be the answer to most of this bunch's questions
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: I did enjoy the actual tour part.
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: *Puts on a party hat*
UmbraFractus: Kiya: *like she has room to talk*
knightFawe: Henry: I'll go get drinks.
knightFawe: *There are those vweeee party blowy things as well.*
UmbraFractus: Kiya: *already got one, then*
cameoApparition: (Noisemakers, I think they're called.)
knightFawe: Henry: *What an accurate name, soon returns with a Drinksbot.*
Pieguy: Lacey: You know, it'll be my birthday soon. No idea what age I'll be supposed to be.
UmbraFractus: Kiya: One year older than your last one?
Pieguy: Lacey: Well, yeah, /normally/.
Pieguy: Lacey: But it wasn't Halloween when I left home.
UmbraFractus: Kiya: And I was born in 1985. You gotta re-adjust
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: What was your original birthdate?
Pieguy: Lacey: April 28th, 1992.
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: I remember it being early December, and then I was in a dungeon for six months and it was still December when I got out.
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: December of 2050, rather than 1875...
knightFawe: Henry: *Sniff* It wasn't a dungeon. I just had to improvise.
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: And what day was it before you found yourself in halloween?
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: It was a dungeon with very good entertainment.
Pieguy: Lacey: You know, it's something I really should remember, but I don't actually know the date.
UmbraFractus: Kiya: *distracted by the Gary* Huh. You had no idea what a TV was before you were cloned, did you?
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: hmm, I wonder if a hypnotist could help. I hear hypnosis is supposed to work wonders for memories
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: Quite so.
UmbraFractus: Kiya: So I guess even bad TV must've seemed magical to you
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: I initially thought it was a meta producing illusions, but it was too continuous.
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: Hey, I seem to remember Dora has a hypnosis service. I bet you could hire her.
Pieguy: Lacey: Been there, done that, got attacked by dragons.
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: Most people wouldn't be able to churn out stage drama for several days straight without the plot dissolving into incoherence.
cameoApparition: Dora: ^_^;
UmbraFractus: Kiya: Unless they were reading, but I see your point
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: Although some of those programs made me wonder.
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot:
Pieguy: Lacey: Long story. Long, kinda repetitive and linear story.
UmbraFractus: Kiya: Yeah, some of them seemed to run out of ideas somewhere around episode three
knightFawe: Henry: Some clones still wince at the Frasier theme :<
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: Indeed.
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: The television taught me a great deal about the society I emerged into, although I was relieved to discover that the disembodied laughter wasn't true to life.
knightFawe: Henry: I like sitcoms all right.
knightFawe: Henry: Except the Big Bang Theory, I cannot stand those pre tours twats.
UmbraFractus: Kiya: Some of them weren't bad :<
cameoApparition: Dora: The what?
cameoApparition: Dora: Oh, that one.
cameoApparition: Dora: Don't know why it was so popular in the 2000s.
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: I'll take your word for it.
UmbraFractus: Kiya: Cause nerds are cool
knightFawe: Henry: And Friends is a classic!
UmbraFractus: Kiya: Bleh. That one's a soap opera with a laugh track
knightFawe: Henry: Well maybe you can not have any cake and think about how nice it would be to have friends that aren't trying to kill each other and laugh a lot.
cameoApparition: Dora: But they weren't cool, they were a bunch of dorks.
knightFawe: Henry: ...Hm, I said a bit much.
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: Way ahead of you. *Cutting the cake.*
UmbraFractus: Kiya: Bleh?
knightFawe: Henry: Sorry.
UmbraFractus: Kiya: *confuzzled*
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: *Foists a piece of cake upon her*
UmbraFractus: Kiya: *mmm cake* ^_^
knightFawe: Henry: *Now he feels bad, way to go Dora.*
cameoApparition: Dora: *Don't blame her, blame Kiya!*
UmbraFractus: Kiya: *all she said was she didn't like Friends :< *
knightFawe: *no Dora is clearly to blame*
knightFawe: Henry: *Takes out pipe, idly smokes.* I'm aware this is an oxygen-rich environment. It's science.
cameoApparition: Dora: If Joss hasn't blown us all up yet, I doubt your pipe would do it.
UmbraFractus: Kiya: *-that- doesn't bother her. She lived with Joss for almost a year*
cameoApparition: Dora: Of course, now that I've said that, it would be funny and ironic. :::
knightFawe: Jake: *feeling of d00m*
UmbraFractus: Emily: *what a coincidence*
knightFawe: Henry: *Gets a drink!* Well, you're all released under your own steam. Unless you want to hear some jokes?
NiteBrite_: Jeffersonbot: I like jokes.
knightFawe: Henry: Well I need more setup. Make fun of me.
androidCameo: Dora: ........You're old?
androidCameo: Dora: I don't want to make fun of you.
knightFawe: Henry: *Intercom!* Last call for guided tours!
cameoApparition: Dora: Sounds good.
cameoApparition: Dora: *proceeds*
Pieguy: Lacey: Ah, hell with it. *goes*
prinnybroos: Alli: *heads over there; got nothing better to do, and maybe she'll learn why*
prinnybroos: (they might *not* be fighting an army of mantis men)
UmbraFractus: Kiya: *waits outside the door; avoiding the organs*
UmbraFractus: (Zack: ._. )
knightFawe: Henry: All right! *Stands!* Everyone out of the office for the tour!
Pieguy: Lacey: *arriving at office door* ...what's all that on the desk?
cameoApparition: Dora: It looks like a pile of entrails...
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: That is precisely what it is.
Pieguy: Lacey: Oh good, I was worried I might be mistaken.
knightFawe: Henry: *Hurries off to go get the cart. It looks like it was cribbed from a Disney Tour, complete with cartoonish space station logo on the front.*
knightFawe: Henry: *Soon out the front of his office with a cart! Yay!*
knightFawe: Henry: *Has also acquired a headband microphone*
UmbraFractus: Kiya: *joined them in the hallway*
knightFawe: Henry: All right, all aboard! *Beep beeps his horn.*
Pieguy: Lacey: ...well, this'll be entertaining.
cameoApparition: Dora: *window seat!*
Pieguy: Lacey: *any old seat* Why is there a pile of entrails on the desk?
cameoApparition: Dora: He does have a history of cloning organs and leaving them out everywhere.
knightFawe: Henry: *Lets the engine idle as he waits for others. There's even a little screen behind him with the logo on it.*
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: No, those were the ones he started with.
knightFawe: Henry: Replacements, m'girl!
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: *sets comatose body next to lacey*
Pieguy: Lacey: How did you... you know what, I'm not sure I want to know.
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: I do!
knightFawe: Henry: With a very sharp knife.
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: Did you have someone help you?
knightFawe: Henry: Please. I think I've replaced my old organs enough that I wouldn't need a helper like a bumbling teen!
Pieguy: Lacey: Oddly specific kind of helper that you wouldn't need.
prinnybroos: Alli: *heads abroad? shrug*
prinnybroos: (aboard. Not abroad. Well maybe abroad.)
knightFawe: Henry: Well, this is likely all we're getting. Would anyone like to ride shotgun with an old man like me?
cameoApparition: Dora: Sure.
knightFawe: Henry: Full warning: Any attempted rendition of that scene from Willy Wonka means that you're out of the tour.
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: You mean the one where the little orange guys sing and dance?
knightFawe: Henry: No I mean the boat ride.
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: I have no idea what you're talking about.
prinnybroos: Alli: What about the parts where kids get murdered?
knightFawe: Henry: Eh.
cameoApparition: Dora: *takes the passenger seat*
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: What happens on the boat ride?
prinnybroos: Alli: I forget; I haven't seen the movie in forever.
knightFawe: Henry: The director trips balls. *that sounds so weird coming from him right???* Anyway! Onwards. Please keep your hands and feet inside the cart.
prinnybroos: Alli: But there's a lot of whimsical murder.
cameoApparition: Dora: I'm pretty sure that's the scene with the terrifying musical number about not knowing where they're going.
knightFawe: Henry: That's the ticket.
knightFawe: Henry: *Onwards!*
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: Very well.
knightFawe: Henry: *Begins the tour!* Ahem. On your left behind the clear glass, you can see a display model of one of the rooms you should be familiar with.
cameoApparition: Dora: *looks over*
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: *also looks*
knightFawe: Henry: *Best tour guide voice!* This room is also completely interchangeable! As the 'Cloneplex' was originally designed to support life after the apocalypse, the rooms are modular so they could be combined in case of expanding families and marriages!
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: *God help us he's taken out a notepad*
knightFawe: Henry: Fun fact, if you were in a childless relationship, you would have been required to donate genetic material so the gene pool could keep expanding!
prinnybroos: Alli: That's... good?
Pieguytablet: Lacey: Hm? Sorry. Spaced out. Who's donating genetic material now?
cameoApparition: Dora: ...what do you mean, donate genetic material?
knightFawe: Henry: A small sample. Blood, hair, fluids. Enough to clone new humans!
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: That doesn't sound so bad.
knightFawe: Henry: *Such a tour guide voiiiiice*
Pieguytablet: Lacey: Donate to who? *wasn't listening*
knightFawe: Henry: Did you know? The Space Station was designed to support upwards of one point two million humans! At such a time, it would be necessary to establish a colony on Jupiter!
Pieguytablet: Lacey: Wouldn't that have been a tragically short-lived colony?
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: Jupiter is somewhat lacking in solid ground, from what I hear.
cameoApparition: Dora: I thought we /were/ a colony on Jupiter.
Pieguytablet: Lacey: It'd last about as long as the plummet through the clouds.
knightFawe: Henry: We're slightly above Jupiter. And, with so many meta humans working together, anything is possible!
prinnybroos: Alli: We have this space station and you assume being on Jupiter would be a problem?
prinnybroos: Alli: Like, we've figured gravity out.
knightFawe: Henry: Now that's the scientific optimism I like!
knightFawe: Henry: *Pulls around the corner!* Now, I hear you ask, 'How could a metal station support life?', well, I'm glad you asked! On your right you can see a smaller example of the Dudley HyperTime Chamber! Observe, as seeds are dropped in the ground, sprout and grow at a rapid rate!
knightFawe: Seeds: *Behind the glass, are dropped into the soil. A stalk with tomatoes grows, which are harvested by tiny robots swiftly!*
knightFawe: Henry: Completely chemical-free, natural organic food!
cameoApparition: Dora: So it's made of empty space?
knightFawe: Henry: And, thanks to the wonders of cloning, we can clone slabs of meat without creating a living beast, thus sidestepping the main objection of pinko-commie Vegetarians complaining about harming animals!
knightFawe: Henry: *Side of mouth* Dora not now I'm tourguiding.
knightFawe: Henry: On the right you'll see the Ark.2, a statis chamber containing DNA of every animal on earth, including some that went extinct, like the dodo!
prinnybroos: Alli: Wait so the meat we're eating isn't actual animals?
knightFawe: Ark.2: *Rows of frosty glass cylinders! They go on for aaaaaaagggggggeeeeees.*
knightFawe: Henry: It's actual meat, but no animals were harmed in the making.
prinnybroos: Alli: *shrug* That's probably closer to natural than a lot of the stuff out there anyway.
knightFawe: Henry: And much more humane!
Pieguytablet: Lacey: So, what, you could clone dodo steaks?
knightFawe: Henry: Yes. It's overrated.
Pieguytablet: Lacey: Let me guess. Tastes like chicken.
knightFawe: Henry: No, it tastes like Dodo.
Pieguytablet: Lacey: Silly question.
knightFawe: Henry: ahem. Anyway, ahead we see our top-of-the range quarantine zone in case of mutating diseases.
knightFawe: Zone: *Looks so sterile!*
knightFawe: Henry: *And the tour continues! Robot construction, Tesla coils, greenhouse and park. You get the idea. Make up your own stuff if you want!* ...and that concludes our tour. Any questions?
prinnybroos: Alli: Was there any particular reason for this? I mean, we've all been living here for a while...
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: I asked for it
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: What's in the basement?
prinnybroos: Alli: It is really a basement when it's in space? What's it on the ground of?
iFawe: Henry: What's in the basement is basically the last scene from the first Indiana Jones.
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: That really doesn't answer my question at all.
iFawe: Henry: Basically contaminated - and safely contained - objects.
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: Contaminated with what?
iFawe: Henry: And yes, Jefferson was the first person to ask for the tour.
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: It was pretty cool.
iFawe: Henry: I'm afraid it's need to know information, Gareth.
iFawe: Henry: And thank you, Jefferson.
cameoApparition: Gareth: *Looks disgruntled.*
cameoApparition: (Goddammit that was the wrong Gareth)
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: *ALSO LOOKS DISGRUNTLED*
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: I liked the part where the vegetables grew fast.
iFawe: Henry: Yes I'm quite proud of that.
iFawe: Henry: I'm sorry, Gareth. That's the way it is.
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: If you can make time rooms, have you ever tried making a time machine?
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: Why are you keeping contaminated whatevers in your basement? Can't you jettison it into space?
iFawe: Henry: And you'll be in trouble if I catch you trying to sneak in like Madeline because, quote, "Professor Quirrell is gonna steal the mirror!"
iFawe: Henry: Not going near time travel. Too dangerous.
iFawe: Henry: And jettisoning these things would be a poor idea.
prinnybroos: Alli: But speeding up and slowing down time is okay?
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: Why?
iFawe: Henry: It's an efficient way of mass-producing food.
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: Because space travellers could just bump into it by accident and get contaminated too?
iFawe: Henry: ...Yes, exactly that.
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: Oh, come on. I thought space was supposed to be really big and really empty.
iFawe: Henry: Shenanigans. I wrote a paper on it.
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: That doesn't answer anything!
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: You'd be surprised how often tempting fate leads to crazy accidents gareth
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth:
cameoApparition: Dora: It's true!
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: You're basically saying, lets stop paying attention to these dangerous things. What could possibly go wrong
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: So instead we're keeping them in our basement.
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: At least, I presume they are dangerous
iFawe: Henry: I'm sorry, Gareth. I know you're a curious person but this mystery will have to remain mysterious.
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth:
iFawe: Henry: Any other questions?
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: Is the station made of space metal or like, regular steel or something?
iFawe: Henry: It's made of an alloy of <metals honestly I don't know what would be good space metal.>
prinnybroos: (Iridium obviously *go science jokes no one gets!*)
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: Neat. Oh, I thought of a good one. What happens if theres natural disasters like somekind of meteor shower?
iFawe: Henry: Short range teleporters put it on the other side of the station.
iFawe: Henry: Continuing it's natural trajectory, unless it would hit Earth, if so it's slightly adjusted.
prinnybroos: Alli: Um. Why Jupiter anyway?
iFawe: Henry: A much larger planet makes it much easier to hide a space station.
prinnybroos: Alli: Well. Alright.
iFawe: Henry: *Rummages in pockets* Hang on I have tour badges... *Hands them out. They're big button badges with the logo and text saying 'I'm A Space Cadet!!'. They look like they were designed in the 90s, because they were.*
cameoApparition: Dora: Ummmmmmmm
iFawe: Henry: For completing the tour!
iFawe: Henry: *Clearly good at science, not art.*
cameoApparition: Dora: *Pins it to her outermost shirt to be nice.*
iFawe: Henry: *Mustachiod smile! EVERYONE GETS A BADGE.*
Pieguytablet: Lacey: *probably has a drawer for that*
iFawe: Henry: *Expectant looks.*
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: *pins badge to lapel*
iFawe: Henry: *Presumably this is why he's had no tours so far.*
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: *pins it to his sleeping self*
iFawe: Henry: :{D
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: *logs into spacebook from phone: types up a post about the tour: 10/10 would recommend*
iFawe: Maddie: A tour?! Of the forbidden hallway I bet!!
cameoApparition: Tamsyn: Haha what
iFawe: Maddie: There's a tour of the station
cameoApparition: Tamsyn: Sounds kinda cool.
iFawe: Maddie: It's apparently 10/10
knightFawe: Henry: *Great tour guide or GREATEST tour guide???*
ArchDukeFerdinand_: (greatest, obviously)
knightFawe: Henry: Any further questions or we done here? :{)
ArchDukeFerdinand_: Jezebelle: Like, I totally have like, a question
knightFawe: Henry: Huzzah! Ask away.
ArchDukeFerdinand_: Jezebelle: Like, what if we had like, a totally rad party in the tme slow downy place. Wouldn't we all like, be all moving slowmo and stuff?
knightFawe: Henry: You are not having a party in the Dudley TimeCompression Chamber.
ArchDukeFerdinand_: Jezebelle: Like, how totally lame
cameoApparition: Dora: Was it absolutely necessary to make "TimeCompression" one word?
Pieguy: Lacey: How do you slow down time like that without the universe imploding?
prinnybroos: Alli: The universe is hella resilient. Have faith in it.
ArchDukeFerdinand_: Jezebelle: Like, for sure
cameoApparition: Dora: The same way he does everything else without the universe imploding.
knightFawe: Henry: TimeCompression as one word saves time.
cameoApparition: Dora: And also compresses, I suppose.
knightFawe: Henry: Exactly.
UmbraFractus: Kiya: *yeah, she's still there*
knightFawe: Henry: Does everyone have a badge?
UmbraFractus: Kiya: Yep
Pieguy: Lacey: Sure do.
ArchDukeFerdinand_: Jezebelle: Yup@!
knightFawe: Henry: :{D
ArchDukeFerdinand_: Jezebelle: it like, totally has its own charm
prinnybroos: Alli: *doesn't* Yes.
knightFawe: Henry: Jolly good! Anything further, or is it time to wrap this up with ice cream cake?
ArchDukeFerdinand_: Jezebelle: Cake!
UmbraFractus: Kiya: I vote for cake
knightFawe: Henry: Any objections?
ArchDukeFerdinand_: Jezebelle: Like, no way
UmbraFractus: Kiya: What kind of cake?
knightFawe: Henry: *Leads to the party room! There's a ball pit and an ice cream cake and a slide and little party hats.*
UmbraFractus: Kiya: *likes balls*
UmbraFractus: (*shot*)
prinnybroos: Alli: I don't think this tour was designed for our age range...
UmbraFractus: Kiya: I don't care
*jumps right in*Pieguy: Lacey: The hats are a nice touch.
knightFawe: Henry: ... It has issues needs ironing out
knightFawe: Henry: I could get drinks? Drinks help.
prinnybroos: Alli: Drinks do help.
cameoApparition: Dora: Nothing makes a ball pit and a slide adult-appropriate quite like alco... hol... actually that is literally true.
UmbraFractus: Kiya: Alcohol seems to be the answer to most of this bunch's questions
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: I did enjoy the actual tour part.
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: *Puts on a party hat*
UmbraFractus: Kiya: *like she has room to talk*
knightFawe: Henry: I'll go get drinks.
knightFawe: *There are those vweeee party blowy things as well.*
UmbraFractus: Kiya: *already got one, then*
cameoApparition: (Noisemakers, I think they're called.)
knightFawe: Henry: *What an accurate name, soon returns with a Drinksbot.*
Pieguy: Lacey: You know, it'll be my birthday soon. No idea what age I'll be supposed to be.
UmbraFractus: Kiya: One year older than your last one?
Pieguy: Lacey: Well, yeah, /normally/.
Pieguy: Lacey: But it wasn't Halloween when I left home.
UmbraFractus: Kiya: And I was born in 1985. You gotta re-adjust
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: What was your original birthdate?
Pieguy: Lacey: April 28th, 1992.
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: I remember it being early December, and then I was in a dungeon for six months and it was still December when I got out.
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: December of 2050, rather than 1875...
knightFawe: Henry: *Sniff* It wasn't a dungeon. I just had to improvise.
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: And what day was it before you found yourself in halloween?
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: It was a dungeon with very good entertainment.
Pieguy: Lacey: You know, it's something I really should remember, but I don't actually know the date.
UmbraFractus: Kiya: *distracted by the Gary* Huh. You had no idea what a TV was before you were cloned, did you?
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: hmm, I wonder if a hypnotist could help. I hear hypnosis is supposed to work wonders for memories
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: Quite so.
UmbraFractus: Kiya: So I guess even bad TV must've seemed magical to you
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: I initially thought it was a meta producing illusions, but it was too continuous.
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot: Hey, I seem to remember Dora has a hypnosis service. I bet you could hire her.
Pieguy: Lacey: Been there, done that, got attacked by dragons.
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: Most people wouldn't be able to churn out stage drama for several days straight without the plot dissolving into incoherence.
cameoApparition: Dora: ^_^;
UmbraFractus: Kiya: Unless they were reading, but I see your point
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: Although some of those programs made me wonder.
NiteBrite: Jeffersonbot:
Pieguy: Lacey: Long story. Long, kinda repetitive and linear story.
UmbraFractus: Kiya: Yeah, some of them seemed to run out of ideas somewhere around episode three
knightFawe: Henry: Some clones still wince at the Frasier theme :<
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: Indeed.
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: The television taught me a great deal about the society I emerged into, although I was relieved to discover that the disembodied laughter wasn't true to life.
knightFawe: Henry: I like sitcoms all right.
knightFawe: Henry: Except the Big Bang Theory, I cannot stand those pre tours twats.
UmbraFractus: Kiya: Some of them weren't bad :<
cameoApparition: Dora: The what?
cameoApparition: Dora: Oh, that one.
cameoApparition: Dora: Don't know why it was so popular in the 2000s.
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: I'll take your word for it.
UmbraFractus: Kiya: Cause nerds are cool
knightFawe: Henry: And Friends is a classic!
UmbraFractus: Kiya: Bleh. That one's a soap opera with a laugh track
knightFawe: Henry: Well maybe you can not have any cake and think about how nice it would be to have friends that aren't trying to kill each other and laugh a lot.
cameoApparition: Dora: But they weren't cool, they were a bunch of dorks.
knightFawe: Henry: ...Hm, I said a bit much.
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: Way ahead of you. *Cutting the cake.*
UmbraFractus: Kiya: Bleh?
knightFawe: Henry: Sorry.
UmbraFractus: Kiya: *confuzzled*
cameoApparition: Clone Gareth: *Foists a piece of cake upon her*
UmbraFractus: Kiya: *mmm cake* ^_^
knightFawe: Henry: *Now he feels bad, way to go Dora.*
cameoApparition: Dora: *Don't blame her, blame Kiya!*
UmbraFractus: Kiya: *all she said was she didn't like Friends :< *
knightFawe: *no Dora is clearly to blame*
knightFawe: Henry: *Takes out pipe, idly smokes.* I'm aware this is an oxygen-rich environment. It's science.
cameoApparition: Dora: If Joss hasn't blown us all up yet, I doubt your pipe would do it.
UmbraFractus: Kiya: *-that- doesn't bother her. She lived with Joss for almost a year*
cameoApparition: Dora: Of course, now that I've said that, it would be funny and ironic. :::
knightFawe: Jake: *feeling of d00m*
UmbraFractus: Emily: *what a coincidence*
knightFawe: Henry: *Gets a drink!* Well, you're all released under your own steam. Unless you want to hear some jokes?
NiteBrite_: Jeffersonbot: I like jokes.
knightFawe: Henry: Well I need more setup. Make fun of me.
androidCameo: Dora: ........You're old?
androidCameo: Dora: I don't want to make fun of you.